Some Winning Query Letters
You have done the really hard work. You’ve completed an entire manuscript, maybe
more than 90,000 words. Now you need one more page. Just one little simple page.
But there’s nothing simple about it. What you need is a one-page query letter, and
although you’ve read the books and articles that explain how to do it, you are stuck.
You never thought writing one page could be so hard.
It’s an important page. An editor or agent is going to read over that one page and
decide if they want to read any of that wonderful story you sweated blood and
tears over.
What to do? Where to start? You just aren’t sure. When you try, you just know it
reads all wrong, or you are starting it wrong, adding the wrong things, leaving out
the right things.
First, calm down. (Smile) You’ve made it this far. You have a completed novel. Now
let’s get that query written and ready to go.
Sometimes, often in fact, the best way to explain how to do something is to show
someone. A number of wonderful authors who have landed top agents or published
with the big boys, came forward when I sent out a call for help, and have shared the
query letters with me that got them that agent or sold that manuscript for them. I’
ve put them here on this page, so you can read some that worked and figure out just
how to do your own.
Near the bottom of each query you’ll find a link to the author’s website and a link
to buy the book the query is for.
I hope these samples take some of the fear and doubt away so you can get that
letter finished and put your best foot forward. After all, if you don’t send out a
query, that story is never going to see the light of day.
Best of luck and best wishes,
Charlotte Dillon
more than 90,000 words. Now you need one more page. Just one little simple page.
But there’s nothing simple about it. What you need is a one-page query letter, and
although you’ve read the books and articles that explain how to do it, you are stuck.
You never thought writing one page could be so hard.
It’s an important page. An editor or agent is going to read over that one page and
decide if they want to read any of that wonderful story you sweated blood and
tears over.
What to do? Where to start? You just aren’t sure. When you try, you just know it
reads all wrong, or you are starting it wrong, adding the wrong things, leaving out
the right things.
First, calm down. (Smile) You’ve made it this far. You have a completed novel. Now
let’s get that query written and ready to go.
Sometimes, often in fact, the best way to explain how to do something is to show
someone. A number of wonderful authors who have landed top agents or published
with the big boys, came forward when I sent out a call for help, and have shared the
query letters with me that got them that agent or sold that manuscript for them. I’
ve put them here on this page, so you can read some that worked and figure out just
how to do your own.
Near the bottom of each query you’ll find a link to the author’s website and a link
to buy the book the query is for.
I hope these samples take some of the fear and doubt away so you can get that
letter finished and put your best foot forward. After all, if you don’t send out a
query, that story is never going to see the light of day.
Best of luck and best wishes,
Charlotte Dillon
Date
Agent Name
Agent Address
Dear Agent:
Violet Brantford is marrying the man of her dreams--only he
doesn’t know it.
Why? Because the heroine of my recently completed novel, The
Husband Trap, has switched places at the altar with her
identical twin sister. Set in England in 1816, the character-
driven story is a 105,000 word historical romance. Fun and
sensual, the book weaves lies with love, treachery with truth,
teaching two people the ultimate meaning of honesty, passion,
and devotion.
Shy, scholarly Violet Brantford has never enjoyed the stellar
social success of her beautiful twin sister, Jeannette; often
she’s so tongue tied in public she can barely speak. Resigned
to her wallflower existence and her unrequited love for her
sister’s fiancé, Adrian Winter, she expects to end up a
spinster. Then fate steps in to shake up her life when her
twin refuses to marry her rich, handsome, powerful bridegroom
only hours before the wedding. Plagued by the knowledge that
Jeannette’s defection will mean social and financial ruin for
their family, and tempted beyond measure by the chance to
marry the man she adores, Violet agrees to trade identities
with her twin. Now, she must keep society, and more
importantly her husband, from guessing the truth. Otherwise,
she risks losing everything she holds most dear.
Worldly and influential, Adrian Winter, Sixth Duke of Raeburn,
knows he must marry to secure his lineage. Without considering
love--a fool’s illusion, he believes--he chooses the most
poised and polished of the Season’s Incomparables for his
bride. Only after the engagement is official does he begin to
suspect his fiancée may be playing him false with another man.
Unable to prove her infidelity though, he’s honor bound to
proceed with the wedding. He thinks he knows what to expect of
his new bride, only she surprises him with her undeniable
innocence, her sweet spirit, and her love. Who is this woman
he doesn’t quite recognize and how will he stop himself from
losing his heart?
Now, a little about me. I am a member of the Romance Writers
of America with affiliation in the Washington D.C. regional
chapter. I have been a finalist in numerous contests,
receiving first place in West Houston RWA’s 2003 The Emily,
first place in Smoky Mountain RWA’s 2002 Sweet, Spicy, Spooky
contest, and an honorable mention in Colorado Romance Writer’s
2003 Heart of the Rockies contest. I hold a B.A. in history
from the Ohio State University. I am an avid reader of romance
and love writing it as well.
I have enclosed the first chapter of my novel and a synopsis
along with a SASE for your convenience. Thank you for your
consideration. I look forward to an opportunity to share the
entire manuscript with you soon.
Sincerely,
Tracy Anne Warren
The Husband Trap sold to Ballantine/Ivy. Buy the Book.
Agent Name
Agent Address
Dear Agent:
Violet Brantford is marrying the man of her dreams--only he
doesn’t know it.
Why? Because the heroine of my recently completed novel, The
Husband Trap, has switched places at the altar with her
identical twin sister. Set in England in 1816, the character-
driven story is a 105,000 word historical romance. Fun and
sensual, the book weaves lies with love, treachery with truth,
teaching two people the ultimate meaning of honesty, passion,
and devotion.
Shy, scholarly Violet Brantford has never enjoyed the stellar
social success of her beautiful twin sister, Jeannette; often
she’s so tongue tied in public she can barely speak. Resigned
to her wallflower existence and her unrequited love for her
sister’s fiancé, Adrian Winter, she expects to end up a
spinster. Then fate steps in to shake up her life when her
twin refuses to marry her rich, handsome, powerful bridegroom
only hours before the wedding. Plagued by the knowledge that
Jeannette’s defection will mean social and financial ruin for
their family, and tempted beyond measure by the chance to
marry the man she adores, Violet agrees to trade identities
with her twin. Now, she must keep society, and more
importantly her husband, from guessing the truth. Otherwise,
she risks losing everything she holds most dear.
Worldly and influential, Adrian Winter, Sixth Duke of Raeburn,
knows he must marry to secure his lineage. Without considering
love--a fool’s illusion, he believes--he chooses the most
poised and polished of the Season’s Incomparables for his
bride. Only after the engagement is official does he begin to
suspect his fiancée may be playing him false with another man.
Unable to prove her infidelity though, he’s honor bound to
proceed with the wedding. He thinks he knows what to expect of
his new bride, only she surprises him with her undeniable
innocence, her sweet spirit, and her love. Who is this woman
he doesn’t quite recognize and how will he stop himself from
losing his heart?
Now, a little about me. I am a member of the Romance Writers
of America with affiliation in the Washington D.C. regional
chapter. I have been a finalist in numerous contests,
receiving first place in West Houston RWA’s 2003 The Emily,
first place in Smoky Mountain RWA’s 2002 Sweet, Spicy, Spooky
contest, and an honorable mention in Colorado Romance Writer’s
2003 Heart of the Rockies contest. I hold a B.A. in history
from the Ohio State University. I am an avid reader of romance
and love writing it as well.
I have enclosed the first chapter of my novel and a synopsis
along with a SASE for your convenience. Thank you for your
consideration. I look forward to an opportunity to share the
entire manuscript with you soon.
Sincerely,
Tracy Anne Warren
The Husband Trap sold to Ballantine/Ivy. Buy the Book.
Submissions
The Knight Agency
I am seeking representation for my erotic historical romance
Mirage, set in 1880 England and Egypt. Mirage has finaled in
the 2005 Golden Heart, Long Historical category and is
approximately 100,000 words. Since submitting this manuscript
for the Golden Heart, I have intensified and enhanced the
erotic components of the book.
Half Bedouin, half English, Viscount Blakeney is a man without
a country. In his heart, he’s always been Sheikh Altair Mazir,
but a deathbed oath forces him to divide his time between
England and his beautiful Sahara. Despite his English title
and holdings, prejudice is a constant companion. An old love
betrayed him because of his mixed blood, and he believes his
heritage prevents him from finding true happiness, simply
because he can never trust a woman to love him for who he is—a
half-breed.
An unorthodox upbringing has made Alexandra Talbot a strong,
independent woman. Determined to prove her worth as an
archeologist, she is following in her father's footsteps to
uncover ancient treasures. Unlike her father, most men have
always treated her with benign condescension, unwilling to
accept her abilities as an educated scholar. Experience has
taught her not to trust men for this reason, but the
mysterious Englishman helping her is different. He doesn’t
question her intelligence, only her impulsive nature.
When Altair finds himself protecting this feisty American as
she searches for an ancient Pharaoh’s treasure, Alex makes him
wish things were different. Despite his better judgment,
desire flares between them under the desert stars. When murder
and betrayal turns their treasure hunt into a deadly game—
their love and survival hinge on them trusting each other.
As a published author with New Concepts Publishing (NCP), my
erotic Victorian novella, Rogue in Disguise, has earned rave
reviews. I am hard at work building my readership, and my next
erotic Victorian novella with NCP will be released sometime
next month. I am a member of Romance Writers of America with
PRO status and belong to the online RWA chapter. Since
receiving my degree from Virginia Commonwealth’s School of
Mass Communications, my professional writing credits include
institutional messages, success stories for marketing
materials and industry magazine articles including a bi‑monthly
column in the Virginia Review.
Mirage has allowed me to explore not only the heightened
sensuality of an erotic romance, but given me the opportunity
to encounter unique worlds and shape a story that encompasses
those unusual settings. I am excited about Mirage, which is
the first in a series of books with a similar multicultural
theme. I’ve also developed a marketing plan for Mirage to
ensure the most successful showing possible when my work is
offered up in the print medium. If you are interested in
reading Mirage, I’d be delighted to forward it to you. Thank
you for your time, and I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Monica Burns
This book hasn't sold as I add this to the site, but this
query won over top agent Deidre Knight.
The Knight Agency
I am seeking representation for my erotic historical romance
Mirage, set in 1880 England and Egypt. Mirage has finaled in
the 2005 Golden Heart, Long Historical category and is
approximately 100,000 words. Since submitting this manuscript
for the Golden Heart, I have intensified and enhanced the
erotic components of the book.
Half Bedouin, half English, Viscount Blakeney is a man without
a country. In his heart, he’s always been Sheikh Altair Mazir,
but a deathbed oath forces him to divide his time between
England and his beautiful Sahara. Despite his English title
and holdings, prejudice is a constant companion. An old love
betrayed him because of his mixed blood, and he believes his
heritage prevents him from finding true happiness, simply
because he can never trust a woman to love him for who he is—a
half-breed.
An unorthodox upbringing has made Alexandra Talbot a strong,
independent woman. Determined to prove her worth as an
archeologist, she is following in her father's footsteps to
uncover ancient treasures. Unlike her father, most men have
always treated her with benign condescension, unwilling to
accept her abilities as an educated scholar. Experience has
taught her not to trust men for this reason, but the
mysterious Englishman helping her is different. He doesn’t
question her intelligence, only her impulsive nature.
When Altair finds himself protecting this feisty American as
she searches for an ancient Pharaoh’s treasure, Alex makes him
wish things were different. Despite his better judgment,
desire flares between them under the desert stars. When murder
and betrayal turns their treasure hunt into a deadly game—
their love and survival hinge on them trusting each other.
As a published author with New Concepts Publishing (NCP), my
erotic Victorian novella, Rogue in Disguise, has earned rave
reviews. I am hard at work building my readership, and my next
erotic Victorian novella with NCP will be released sometime
next month. I am a member of Romance Writers of America with
PRO status and belong to the online RWA chapter. Since
receiving my degree from Virginia Commonwealth’s School of
Mass Communications, my professional writing credits include
institutional messages, success stories for marketing
materials and industry magazine articles including a bi‑monthly
column in the Virginia Review.
Mirage has allowed me to explore not only the heightened
sensuality of an erotic romance, but given me the opportunity
to encounter unique worlds and shape a story that encompasses
those unusual settings. I am excited about Mirage, which is
the first in a series of books with a similar multicultural
theme. I’ve also developed a marketing plan for Mirage to
ensure the most successful showing possible when my work is
offered up in the print medium. If you are interested in
reading Mirage, I’d be delighted to forward it to you. Thank
you for your time, and I look forward to your response.
Sincerely,
Monica Burns
This book hasn't sold as I add this to the site, but this
query won over top agent Deidre Knight.
My address here
__________________________________________________________________________
Home Phone:
E-Mail:
Date here
Robert G. Diforio
His address here
Dear Bob:
Thank you for your email on June 11, 2005 requesting to see my
Pleasure Games Trilogy, targeted to Avon’s new erotic romance
line.
The first story PLEASURE CONTROL was a finalist in Lori Foster’
s contest. In order to prove to the Grant Governing board
that they are close to producing a libido suppressant,
scientists Laura Manning and Jay Cutler must use themselves as
guinea pigs. Jay fulfils his role by injecting himself with
the serum. Laura’s role requires candlelight, soft music, and
silky lingerie. Her job is to entice him. If he doesn’t get
aroused they’ll know the suppressant works. If he does get
aroused, however, Jay assures her the possibilities are
endless.
In the second book, PLEASURE PROLONGED, all talk and no action
scientist Erin Shay decides it's time to take a stab at being
the bad girl she pretends to be. She offers her new lab
partner, Kale Alexander, a night of casual sex. Kale sets out
to show Erin that when they slip between the sheets, or behind
the closed doors of an elevator, there is nothing casual about
it.
The third book is titled PLEASURE EXCHANGE. When journalist
Cat Nichols writes an article highlighting scientist Sam
York's experiments, animal rights activists mistakenly assume
he is testing the experimental female libido enhancer on his
pet chimpanzee. Knowing he is unable to complete his project
with protestors breathing down his back, Cat proposes a
solution...her, in exchange for the chimpanzee.
I am published with Ellora’s Cave under the pen name, Cathryn
Fox. I am a member of Romance Writers of America, served two
consecutive terms as Secretary for Romance Writers of Atlantic
Canada, and President of the Annapolis Valley writers group.
I was a finalist in the Toronto Original Golden Opportunity
Contest, semi-finalist in the Heart of Denver contest and
winner of the RWAC Query letter contest.
I’ve enclosed three synopses, three completed manuscripts, and
a marketing plan.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Cathryn Fox
This query won Cathryn the agent. The books sold to Avon. Buy
the Book.
__________________________________________________________________________
Home Phone:
E-Mail:
Date here
Robert G. Diforio
His address here
Dear Bob:
Thank you for your email on June 11, 2005 requesting to see my
Pleasure Games Trilogy, targeted to Avon’s new erotic romance
line.
The first story PLEASURE CONTROL was a finalist in Lori Foster’
s contest. In order to prove to the Grant Governing board
that they are close to producing a libido suppressant,
scientists Laura Manning and Jay Cutler must use themselves as
guinea pigs. Jay fulfils his role by injecting himself with
the serum. Laura’s role requires candlelight, soft music, and
silky lingerie. Her job is to entice him. If he doesn’t get
aroused they’ll know the suppressant works. If he does get
aroused, however, Jay assures her the possibilities are
endless.
In the second book, PLEASURE PROLONGED, all talk and no action
scientist Erin Shay decides it's time to take a stab at being
the bad girl she pretends to be. She offers her new lab
partner, Kale Alexander, a night of casual sex. Kale sets out
to show Erin that when they slip between the sheets, or behind
the closed doors of an elevator, there is nothing casual about
it.
The third book is titled PLEASURE EXCHANGE. When journalist
Cat Nichols writes an article highlighting scientist Sam
York's experiments, animal rights activists mistakenly assume
he is testing the experimental female libido enhancer on his
pet chimpanzee. Knowing he is unable to complete his project
with protestors breathing down his back, Cat proposes a
solution...her, in exchange for the chimpanzee.
I am published with Ellora’s Cave under the pen name, Cathryn
Fox. I am a member of Romance Writers of America, served two
consecutive terms as Secretary for Romance Writers of Atlantic
Canada, and President of the Annapolis Valley writers group.
I was a finalist in the Toronto Original Golden Opportunity
Contest, semi-finalist in the Heart of Denver contest and
winner of the RWAC Query letter contest.
I’ve enclosed three synopses, three completed manuscripts, and
a marketing plan.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Cathryn Fox
This query won Cathryn the agent. The books sold to Avon. Buy
the Book.
Dear Ms. Agent,
A woman who cannot trust. A man who will not love. A passion
richer than the dark of midnight.
Dangerously attractive anatomist, Dr. Damien Cole, is
suspected of being the killer who hunts in the back alleys of
Whitechapel. Blaming himself for the death of his sister,
Damien exerts a rigid control, refusing to succumb to the
joys, and torturous pain, of strong emotions. He struggles
against his growing attraction to his unconventional
assistant, Darcie Finch, denying that which he fears above
all else - love.
Betrayed by those she trusted, brave, resilient Darcie is
thrust into Damien's strange household. Working beside the
mysterious doctor, she is ever aware of the charged
atmosphere that crackles between them, and of the fact that
she must never again put her faith in a man of secrets.
Haunted by the passion that burgeons in her soul, she looks
deep into the heart of her enigmatic employer, and finds
kindness hidden beneath his steely reserve. But as the bodies
line up one by one, Darcie must decide if Damien is worthy of
her love or if he is a terrifying creature unburdened by
guilt or remorse, a murderer who prowls the East End streets.
I am a member of Romance Writers of America, and am past
associate newsletter editor for the Toronto chapter. DARK
DESIRES tied for first place in the 2004 Haunted Hearts
contest hosted by the Gothic Romance Writers chapter of RWA.
Would you be interested in reading my work? I look forward to
hearing from you. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Eve Silver
Dark Desires sold to Zebra Books. Buy the Book.
A woman who cannot trust. A man who will not love. A passion
richer than the dark of midnight.
Dangerously attractive anatomist, Dr. Damien Cole, is
suspected of being the killer who hunts in the back alleys of
Whitechapel. Blaming himself for the death of his sister,
Damien exerts a rigid control, refusing to succumb to the
joys, and torturous pain, of strong emotions. He struggles
against his growing attraction to his unconventional
assistant, Darcie Finch, denying that which he fears above
all else - love.
Betrayed by those she trusted, brave, resilient Darcie is
thrust into Damien's strange household. Working beside the
mysterious doctor, she is ever aware of the charged
atmosphere that crackles between them, and of the fact that
she must never again put her faith in a man of secrets.
Haunted by the passion that burgeons in her soul, she looks
deep into the heart of her enigmatic employer, and finds
kindness hidden beneath his steely reserve. But as the bodies
line up one by one, Darcie must decide if Damien is worthy of
her love or if he is a terrifying creature unburdened by
guilt or remorse, a murderer who prowls the East End streets.
I am a member of Romance Writers of America, and am past
associate newsletter editor for the Toronto chapter. DARK
DESIRES tied for first place in the 2004 Haunted Hearts
contest hosted by the Gothic Romance Writers chapter of RWA.
Would you be interested in reading my work? I look forward to
hearing from you. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Eve Silver
Dark Desires sold to Zebra Books. Buy the Book.
My name
My address
My phone number
My email address
Date
Editor name
Title
Line
Address
Dear Editor,
As you requested, I’ve enclosed the revised version of All the
Way, my 85,000-word manuscript targeting Superromance.
Ambitious Midwestern entrepreneur Devin Colyer has been
attracted to his best friend Carey Langford for years, but she’
s a forever kind of girl and he’s a temporary kind of guy.
When Carey ends up alone and pregnant by a man Devin detests,
her jet-setting photographer days end. Driven by her own
troubled childhood, she vows to make a happy family of two for
her baby, but it isn’t long before Devin’s protective streak
surfaces, surprising them both. Can he get over his hang-up
with the baby’s father and commit ALL THE WAY before Carey
gets it together without him?
I appreciate the suggestions you made for my rewrite and after
taking them into consideration, I feel my story is much
stronger and a better fit for the Superromance line. I look
forward to hearing from you and have enclosed a SASE for your
convenience.
Sincerely,
Amy Knupp
Harlequin bought the manuscript, but changed the book's title
to Unexpected Complication. Buy the Book.
My address
My phone number
My email address
Date
Editor name
Title
Line
Address
Dear Editor,
As you requested, I’ve enclosed the revised version of All the
Way, my 85,000-word manuscript targeting Superromance.
Ambitious Midwestern entrepreneur Devin Colyer has been
attracted to his best friend Carey Langford for years, but she’
s a forever kind of girl and he’s a temporary kind of guy.
When Carey ends up alone and pregnant by a man Devin detests,
her jet-setting photographer days end. Driven by her own
troubled childhood, she vows to make a happy family of two for
her baby, but it isn’t long before Devin’s protective streak
surfaces, surprising them both. Can he get over his hang-up
with the baby’s father and commit ALL THE WAY before Carey
gets it together without him?
I appreciate the suggestions you made for my rewrite and after
taking them into consideration, I feel my story is much
stronger and a better fit for the Superromance line. I look
forward to hearing from you and have enclosed a SASE for your
convenience.
Sincerely,
Amy Knupp
Harlequin bought the manuscript, but changed the book's title
to Unexpected Complication. Buy the Book.
Dear Agent,
I have published a number of short stories in magazines such
as Pulphouse, Marsdust, The Pedestal Magazine, and Paradox
(upcoming). My first novel, Hamlet Dreams, a dark fantasy, was
released in 2001 from Aardwolf Press. Here's a sampling of the
reviews:
"A fine opening turn upon the stage."--Asimov's Science Fiction
"No reader will want to miss this unusual and compelling novel."--Midwest Book Review
"Fine prose, likable characters, . . . and an interesting twist."--Science Fiction Chronicle
"An unusually strong ending."--Booklist
"Hamlet Dreams is an exciting tale that can be interpreted on two distinct levels: as a taut
fantasy thriller or a deep psychological drama."--BookReview.com
I thought you might be interested in my 100,000-word
paranormal romance novel, Embraced in Darkness. The novel is
complete.
The land of Faerie is divided between the Seelie Court (the
"good" Court) and the Unseelie Court (the "evil" Court). The
Queen of the Unseelie Court wants to unite the Courts under
one dark rule, but she needs a figurehead, an heir to both the
Seelie and the Unseelie thrones. And so she sends her son to
the mortal world to seduce the illegitimate daughter of the
Seelie King.
Hunter has never met a mortal woman he couldn't seduce. What
his charm and good looks can't accomplish, his Faerie glamour
can. He's sure Kiera will be no exception. But the more he
gets to know her, the more he gets to like her, and soon
Hunter finds himself burdened with something a prince of the
Unseelie Court cannot afford: a conscience.
Kiera is a stubborn pragmatist who refuses to believe in magic
or the supernatural. But when Hunter starts to pursue her, her
almost uncontrollable attraction to him strikes her as odd.
She's never felt this way about a man before, certainly not
about a complete stranger. Perhaps her goofy mother's talk of
Faerie, and glamour, and magic isn't quite so goofy after all.
As little by little Hunter ignites her passions and wins her
trust, Kiera must come to grips with the heritage she has long
denied. And Hunter must find a way to escape the heritage that
would force him to break the heart of the woman he has grown
to love.
Would you be interested in taking a look at this manuscript? I
have included a SASE for your reply.
Sincerely,
Jenna Black
This one worked to land Jenna the agent she wanted.
I have published a number of short stories in magazines such
as Pulphouse, Marsdust, The Pedestal Magazine, and Paradox
(upcoming). My first novel, Hamlet Dreams, a dark fantasy, was
released in 2001 from Aardwolf Press. Here's a sampling of the
reviews:
"A fine opening turn upon the stage."--Asimov's Science Fiction
"No reader will want to miss this unusual and compelling novel."--Midwest Book Review
"Fine prose, likable characters, . . . and an interesting twist."--Science Fiction Chronicle
"An unusually strong ending."--Booklist
"Hamlet Dreams is an exciting tale that can be interpreted on two distinct levels: as a taut
fantasy thriller or a deep psychological drama."--BookReview.com
I thought you might be interested in my 100,000-word
paranormal romance novel, Embraced in Darkness. The novel is
complete.
The land of Faerie is divided between the Seelie Court (the
"good" Court) and the Unseelie Court (the "evil" Court). The
Queen of the Unseelie Court wants to unite the Courts under
one dark rule, but she needs a figurehead, an heir to both the
Seelie and the Unseelie thrones. And so she sends her son to
the mortal world to seduce the illegitimate daughter of the
Seelie King.
Hunter has never met a mortal woman he couldn't seduce. What
his charm and good looks can't accomplish, his Faerie glamour
can. He's sure Kiera will be no exception. But the more he
gets to know her, the more he gets to like her, and soon
Hunter finds himself burdened with something a prince of the
Unseelie Court cannot afford: a conscience.
Kiera is a stubborn pragmatist who refuses to believe in magic
or the supernatural. But when Hunter starts to pursue her, her
almost uncontrollable attraction to him strikes her as odd.
She's never felt this way about a man before, certainly not
about a complete stranger. Perhaps her goofy mother's talk of
Faerie, and glamour, and magic isn't quite so goofy after all.
As little by little Hunter ignites her passions and wins her
trust, Kiera must come to grips with the heritage she has long
denied. And Hunter must find a way to escape the heritage that
would force him to break the heart of the woman he has grown
to love.
Would you be interested in taking a look at this manuscript? I
have included a SASE for your reply.
Sincerely,
Jenna Black
This one worked to land Jenna the agent she wanted.
Dear Agent's Name:
I have been seriously writing for nearly two years and am a
finalist in fourteen RWA contests with twelve different
books, including second place in the Daphne du Maurier Single
Title category. The Copycat Killer ranked second in the
Golden Opportunity contest. I'm a member of the Sacramento
Valley, Kiss of Death and FF&P Chapters of RWA, and earned my
PRO pin.
Why do some children grow up evil? That is the timeless
question addressed in The Copycat Killer.
Ex-FBI agent turned fiction crime writer Rowan Smith wakes up
one morning to discover someone is using her books as
blueprints for murder.
Her former FBI boss fears one of her past arrests is out to
terrorize her and insists she hire a bodyguard, or he'll
assign two FBI agents to watch her. Rowan, who relishes her
privacy and solitary life, doesn't want a bodyguard, but
reluctantly hires ex-cop Michael Flynn.
The killer systematically goes through each book and chooses
a victim, sending mementoes of the crime to Rowan. Michael's
brother, freelance DEA agent John Flynn, accuses Rowan of
hiding something and calls in favors to learn enough to
confront her. She confesses that her father and brother
killed her family. Her father is in a mental institution and
her brother was killed trying to escape. They fall into bed
needing
a physical connection. The murderer kills Michael that night.
John and Rowan deal with their guilt over Michael's murder as
they work with the FBI to find the murderer. They discover
that Rowan's boss lied to her about her brother's death--he's
in a Texas penitentiary. But when they go there to confront
him, they discover that someone took his place.
The Copycat Killer is a suspense with romantic elements, more
in the vein of Iris Johansen and Tami Hoag's single titles
than traditional romantic suspense.
In addition to The Copycat Killer, I have two additional
single-title romantic suspense novels, a futuristic suspense
(series) currently under consideration at Dorchester, and a
women's fiction novel with a ghost as a main character.
A full is available upon request. Thank you for taking the
time to consider my story.
Sincerely,
Allison Brennan
This book was bought by Ballantine Books, and retitled The
Prey. Buy the Book.
I have been seriously writing for nearly two years and am a
finalist in fourteen RWA contests with twelve different
books, including second place in the Daphne du Maurier Single
Title category. The Copycat Killer ranked second in the
Golden Opportunity contest. I'm a member of the Sacramento
Valley, Kiss of Death and FF&P Chapters of RWA, and earned my
PRO pin.
Why do some children grow up evil? That is the timeless
question addressed in The Copycat Killer.
Ex-FBI agent turned fiction crime writer Rowan Smith wakes up
one morning to discover someone is using her books as
blueprints for murder.
Her former FBI boss fears one of her past arrests is out to
terrorize her and insists she hire a bodyguard, or he'll
assign two FBI agents to watch her. Rowan, who relishes her
privacy and solitary life, doesn't want a bodyguard, but
reluctantly hires ex-cop Michael Flynn.
The killer systematically goes through each book and chooses
a victim, sending mementoes of the crime to Rowan. Michael's
brother, freelance DEA agent John Flynn, accuses Rowan of
hiding something and calls in favors to learn enough to
confront her. She confesses that her father and brother
killed her family. Her father is in a mental institution and
her brother was killed trying to escape. They fall into bed
needing
a physical connection. The murderer kills Michael that night.
John and Rowan deal with their guilt over Michael's murder as
they work with the FBI to find the murderer. They discover
that Rowan's boss lied to her about her brother's death--he's
in a Texas penitentiary. But when they go there to confront
him, they discover that someone took his place.
The Copycat Killer is a suspense with romantic elements, more
in the vein of Iris Johansen and Tami Hoag's single titles
than traditional romantic suspense.
In addition to The Copycat Killer, I have two additional
single-title romantic suspense novels, a futuristic suspense
(series) currently under consideration at Dorchester, and a
women's fiction novel with a ghost as a main character.
A full is available upon request. Thank you for taking the
time to consider my story.
Sincerely,
Allison Brennan
This book was bought by Ballantine Books, and retitled The
Prey. Buy the Book.
January 15, 2003
Tina Columbo, Associate Editor
Harlequin Books
300 East 42nd Street, 6th Floor
New York, NY 10017
Dear Tina,
In childhood, friendships are so easily formed that
differences often go unnoticed. One glance into a preschool
classroom would attest to this fact. As people approach
adulthood, they seem to make distinctions and divisions based
on sometimes arbitrary circumstances. Doesn't every high
school have its cliques? Hand-Me-Down Heartbreak is a
completed 75,000-word contemporary romance that begins with
this idea. A little girl from a loving home meets the troubled
boy next door. She is drawn his adventurous spirit; he enjoys
her winning attitude. They become best friends, until teenage
hormones pull them apart.
Tracy Gilbert is the grown-up girl and my story's heroine.
When her childhood buddy returns to town after a long absence,
Tracy wants nothing to do with him. She has an adopted
daughter and a plan for her life that precludes involvement
with unsuitable men. Riley Collins is the picture of
unsuitability. His hair is too long, his eyes are too wild and
he severed Tracy's trust when he ran away with her older
sister thirteen years ago. And yet, he's grown into a man who
is as fascinating as he is handsome. Circumstances compel
Tracy to accept a short-term assignment as Riley's consultant,
and she sets a new and towering goal: to finish the job and
escape his company before he breaks her heart a second time.
My heroine is a single mother by choice. This is a viable
option today, and I think it says something about the woman
choosing it. Whether she has become cynical about the prospect
of finding love or is simply taking charge of her future, this
woman must be strong and independent. I hope readers will
identify with Tracy. My hero is a man who has risen above a
less than fortunate childhood to become an admirable man. I
hope readers will fall in love with Riley. I'm sending the
first three chapters for your consideration, and would be
pleased to send the complete novel at your request. Thank you
for your time and patience. I look forward to hearing from you
soon.
With warm regard,
Kathy Hagan
Encl.: synopsis
first three manuscript chapters
SASE for response letter
Kathy Hagan sold this manuscript to Harlequin. It was
published under the title The Renegade, and under her pen
name, Kaitlyn Rice. (You can find the synopsis for this story
on the Sample Synopses page.) Buy the book.
Tina Columbo, Associate Editor
Harlequin Books
300 East 42nd Street, 6th Floor
New York, NY 10017
Dear Tina,
In childhood, friendships are so easily formed that
differences often go unnoticed. One glance into a preschool
classroom would attest to this fact. As people approach
adulthood, they seem to make distinctions and divisions based
on sometimes arbitrary circumstances. Doesn't every high
school have its cliques? Hand-Me-Down Heartbreak is a
completed 75,000-word contemporary romance that begins with
this idea. A little girl from a loving home meets the troubled
boy next door. She is drawn his adventurous spirit; he enjoys
her winning attitude. They become best friends, until teenage
hormones pull them apart.
Tracy Gilbert is the grown-up girl and my story's heroine.
When her childhood buddy returns to town after a long absence,
Tracy wants nothing to do with him. She has an adopted
daughter and a plan for her life that precludes involvement
with unsuitable men. Riley Collins is the picture of
unsuitability. His hair is too long, his eyes are too wild and
he severed Tracy's trust when he ran away with her older
sister thirteen years ago. And yet, he's grown into a man who
is as fascinating as he is handsome. Circumstances compel
Tracy to accept a short-term assignment as Riley's consultant,
and she sets a new and towering goal: to finish the job and
escape his company before he breaks her heart a second time.
My heroine is a single mother by choice. This is a viable
option today, and I think it says something about the woman
choosing it. Whether she has become cynical about the prospect
of finding love or is simply taking charge of her future, this
woman must be strong and independent. I hope readers will
identify with Tracy. My hero is a man who has risen above a
less than fortunate childhood to become an admirable man. I
hope readers will fall in love with Riley. I'm sending the
first three chapters for your consideration, and would be
pleased to send the complete novel at your request. Thank you
for your time and patience. I look forward to hearing from you
soon.
With warm regard,
Kathy Hagan
Encl.: synopsis
first three manuscript chapters
SASE for response letter
Kathy Hagan sold this manuscript to Harlequin. It was
published under the title The Renegade, and under her pen
name, Kaitlyn Rice. (You can find the synopsis for this story
on the Sample Synopses page.) Buy the book.
Lucinda Betts
Street
City, State zip
Kate Duffy
Acquisitions Editor
Kensington Publishing Corp.
850 Third Avenue
New York, New York 10022
25 May 2004
Dear Ms. Duffy:
The Bet is a completed, 22,500-word erotic novella written
with 'Brava' in mind.
Zoe Lauterborn is the corporate Ice Queen, and nothing will
stand in her way. Phillip Kingdom is fascinated with her. Her
achievements, her looks…he wants her—but she won't let anyone
get in her way. Sure of an upcoming promotion, she gets drunk
at happy hour, giving him an idea—The Bet.
I've worked as a freelance editor for Abacus Inc., a literary
agency specializing in fiction. I’ve been a member of the Land
of Enchantment Romance Authors and am currently a member of
eharlequin.com and the Romance Writers' Community list group.
I am also a multi-published non-fiction author.
Enclosed please find the synopsis and the first chapter. May I
send you the completed novella? Thanks very much for your time
and consideration.
Sincerely,
Lucinda Betts
A note from Lucinda Betts:
I sent this query to Kate Duffy, but within a week I had a
letter back from Hilary Sare's assistant asking for a full. A
month after that Hilary called me on the phone. She asked me
what else I had written. At the time, Red Sage was considering
a full for a different novella. I had nothing else, but Hilary
asked me to cough up a few ideas—just a few sentences she said.
Well, I coughed up some ideas. She ended up rejecting two of
the ideas and asking for some more. A lot of this took place
via e-mail and phone. When the dust settled, I signed a
contract for six manuscripts—4 novellas and 2 single titles.
I've sold Kensington another ST since then.
I didn't have an agent at this time, but a week after Hilary
called me, two other editors called me wanting to buy a
different novella. A friend of mine wrote mysteries and when I
told her my dilemma, she gave me the phone number for her
agent. I picked up my agent via the phone without her ever
having read my work. She doesn't specialize in romance or
erotica, but I adore her and she's saved me tons of money and
heartache.
Lucinda Betts sold this manuscript to Kensington Aphrodisia.
It was published as part of an anthology title Pure Sex. (You
can find the synopsis for this story on the Sample Synopses
page.) Buy the book.
Street
City, State zip
Kate Duffy
Acquisitions Editor
Kensington Publishing Corp.
850 Third Avenue
New York, New York 10022
25 May 2004
Dear Ms. Duffy:
The Bet is a completed, 22,500-word erotic novella written
with 'Brava' in mind.
Zoe Lauterborn is the corporate Ice Queen, and nothing will
stand in her way. Phillip Kingdom is fascinated with her. Her
achievements, her looks…he wants her—but she won't let anyone
get in her way. Sure of an upcoming promotion, she gets drunk
at happy hour, giving him an idea—The Bet.
I've worked as a freelance editor for Abacus Inc., a literary
agency specializing in fiction. I’ve been a member of the Land
of Enchantment Romance Authors and am currently a member of
eharlequin.com and the Romance Writers' Community list group.
I am also a multi-published non-fiction author.
Enclosed please find the synopsis and the first chapter. May I
send you the completed novella? Thanks very much for your time
and consideration.
Sincerely,
Lucinda Betts
A note from Lucinda Betts:
I sent this query to Kate Duffy, but within a week I had a
letter back from Hilary Sare's assistant asking for a full. A
month after that Hilary called me on the phone. She asked me
what else I had written. At the time, Red Sage was considering
a full for a different novella. I had nothing else, but Hilary
asked me to cough up a few ideas—just a few sentences she said.
Well, I coughed up some ideas. She ended up rejecting two of
the ideas and asking for some more. A lot of this took place
via e-mail and phone. When the dust settled, I signed a
contract for six manuscripts—4 novellas and 2 single titles.
I've sold Kensington another ST since then.
I didn't have an agent at this time, but a week after Hilary
called me, two other editors called me wanting to buy a
different novella. A friend of mine wrote mysteries and when I
told her my dilemma, she gave me the phone number for her
agent. I picked up my agent via the phone without her ever
having read my work. She doesn't specialize in romance or
erotica, but I adore her and she's saved me tons of money and
heartache.
Lucinda Betts sold this manuscript to Kensington Aphrodisia.
It was published as part of an anthology title Pure Sex. (You
can find the synopsis for this story on the Sample Synopses
page.) Buy the book.
Jamie Leigh Hansen
Street
City
Phone number
e-mail address
May 24, 2005
Natasha Kern
PO Box 2908
Portland, OR 97208
Dear Ms. Kern:
During the past eight years I’ve been a member of RWA, I’ve
heard many wonderful things about you as an agent. Your
informative and encouraging website only confirmed them. I
waited until I had the perfect story, ready to go.
Therefore, I respectfully submit my completed, and revised,
106,500 word paranormal romance novel, Betrayed, for your
consideration.
Betrayed mixes contemporary, historical and paranormal in a
new way. It is not a time travel. The predominant aspect is
contemporary. I have an intense set of seven books, in
various stages of planning and writing, that build the
paranormal aspect through each book, beginning with
Betrayed.
Kalyss has survived a nasty marriage that almost killed her.
She is now a fit, tough martial arts instructor, in business
with her childhood friend. She's healing the scars of the
past and determined to be independent and strong, never again
a cowering wreck. She's learned the lesson of a lifetime,
but what happens when she learns this is a lesson she's taken
ten lifetimes to learn?
In 1070 AD England, a Norman warrior conquered a castle for
his King and married a beautiful woman from the village. A
woman who could see a person's past just by touching them.
In one night, they fought their way through the conflicts
between them and discovered a blossom of feeling that could
win them the future of love and family they both desperately
wanted.
But by dawn's first light, a man's betrayal and an enemy's
hatred separated them. The bride was murdered in front of
the warrior husband, who froze to stone in his grief, to be
tormented with his memories for nearly a thousand years. The
betrayer lived, through time and death, guilt and duty, and
aided the bride every hundred years when she was reborn. Yet
the enemy also lived, preventing them both from freeing the
stone warrior from his eternal torment. Until now.
Only, this time, it's all backwards. She remembers nothing
of her quest, but the enemy attacks and changes her life. She
believes her friend is dead and the betrayer she doesn't
recognize is killed in front of her. The killer has altered
his pattern, before she even knows he had one, and she's
freed her destined love without knowing him or what to do
with him.
I’ve loved reading all genres of romance, and dreamed of
writing them, since I was 13. I am an active member of
Romance Writers of America and the Idaho Writer’s League and
have spent the last 8 years honing my craft and choosing
exactly the type of story I want to tell. I believe Betrayed
encompasses many of the qualities I love in a romance.
Thank you for your time and attention. I look forward to
hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jamie Leigh Hansen
e-mail address
Jamie Leigh Hansen's query landed her this top agent, and the
manuscript of Betrayed was sold to Tor. Buy the Book link
coming soon. Look on the Sample Synopses page to read the
synopsis of this story.
Street
City
Phone number
e-mail address
May 24, 2005
Natasha Kern
PO Box 2908
Portland, OR 97208
Dear Ms. Kern:
During the past eight years I’ve been a member of RWA, I’ve
heard many wonderful things about you as an agent. Your
informative and encouraging website only confirmed them. I
waited until I had the perfect story, ready to go.
Therefore, I respectfully submit my completed, and revised,
106,500 word paranormal romance novel, Betrayed, for your
consideration.
Betrayed mixes contemporary, historical and paranormal in a
new way. It is not a time travel. The predominant aspect is
contemporary. I have an intense set of seven books, in
various stages of planning and writing, that build the
paranormal aspect through each book, beginning with
Betrayed.
Kalyss has survived a nasty marriage that almost killed her.
She is now a fit, tough martial arts instructor, in business
with her childhood friend. She's healing the scars of the
past and determined to be independent and strong, never again
a cowering wreck. She's learned the lesson of a lifetime,
but what happens when she learns this is a lesson she's taken
ten lifetimes to learn?
In 1070 AD England, a Norman warrior conquered a castle for
his King and married a beautiful woman from the village. A
woman who could see a person's past just by touching them.
In one night, they fought their way through the conflicts
between them and discovered a blossom of feeling that could
win them the future of love and family they both desperately
wanted.
But by dawn's first light, a man's betrayal and an enemy's
hatred separated them. The bride was murdered in front of
the warrior husband, who froze to stone in his grief, to be
tormented with his memories for nearly a thousand years. The
betrayer lived, through time and death, guilt and duty, and
aided the bride every hundred years when she was reborn. Yet
the enemy also lived, preventing them both from freeing the
stone warrior from his eternal torment. Until now.
Only, this time, it's all backwards. She remembers nothing
of her quest, but the enemy attacks and changes her life. She
believes her friend is dead and the betrayer she doesn't
recognize is killed in front of her. The killer has altered
his pattern, before she even knows he had one, and she's
freed her destined love without knowing him or what to do
with him.
I’ve loved reading all genres of romance, and dreamed of
writing them, since I was 13. I am an active member of
Romance Writers of America and the Idaho Writer’s League and
have spent the last 8 years honing my craft and choosing
exactly the type of story I want to tell. I believe Betrayed
encompasses many of the qualities I love in a romance.
Thank you for your time and attention. I look forward to
hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jamie Leigh Hansen
e-mail address
Jamie Leigh Hansen's query landed her this top agent, and the
manuscript of Betrayed was sold to Tor. Buy the Book link
coming soon. Look on the Sample Synopses page to read the
synopsis of this story.
Dear AGENT NAME:
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a completed
94,000 word urban fantasy.
DEARLY DEPARTED is the story of Sarah Dearly, a newly made
vampire, and her adjustment to life as one of the fashionably
undead. If the hunters on her tail weren't enough, she also
has to deal with her love triangle with a 600-year-old sexy
(but suicidal) master vampire and one of the vampire hunters
who can't decide if he wants to kill her or kiss her. She
struggles to combine her comfortable, working-girl life with
her new, unpredictable and danger-filled world, which
includes her quest for the rumored 'cure for vampirism,' once
she decides that life as a vampire, well...sucks. In the
end, she realizes that when the world is out of control, the
only thing you can trust is your heart. Provided there are no
wooden stakes lying around.
I think of this novel as 'Chick-Lit with Bite' -- Bridget
Jones meets Interview with the Vampire -- as it is filled
with humor, romantic tension, and suspense, utilizing Sarah's
witty, lightly sarcastic, first person point-of-view. It will
appeal to mainstream fantasy readers, vampire enthusiasts,
hopeless romantics, as well as those who enjoy a good story, a
good laugh, a few tears, and a happy ending. Although DEARLY
DEPARTED stands alone as a novel, I have outlines for two
potential sequels.
I would love the chance to send you a few chapters, or the
entire manuscript, and synopsis of DEARLY DEPARTED at your
request. Please feel free to contact me using the enclosed
SASE or via email. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Michelle Rowen
This query landed Michelle Rowen both the agent and a
contract with Warner Books. The title of the book was changed
to Bitten & Smitten. Buy the Book.
I am seeking representation for my first novel, a completed
94,000 word urban fantasy.
DEARLY DEPARTED is the story of Sarah Dearly, a newly made
vampire, and her adjustment to life as one of the fashionably
undead. If the hunters on her tail weren't enough, she also
has to deal with her love triangle with a 600-year-old sexy
(but suicidal) master vampire and one of the vampire hunters
who can't decide if he wants to kill her or kiss her. She
struggles to combine her comfortable, working-girl life with
her new, unpredictable and danger-filled world, which
includes her quest for the rumored 'cure for vampirism,' once
she decides that life as a vampire, well...sucks. In the
end, she realizes that when the world is out of control, the
only thing you can trust is your heart. Provided there are no
wooden stakes lying around.
I think of this novel as 'Chick-Lit with Bite' -- Bridget
Jones meets Interview with the Vampire -- as it is filled
with humor, romantic tension, and suspense, utilizing Sarah's
witty, lightly sarcastic, first person point-of-view. It will
appeal to mainstream fantasy readers, vampire enthusiasts,
hopeless romantics, as well as those who enjoy a good story, a
good laugh, a few tears, and a happy ending. Although DEARLY
DEPARTED stands alone as a novel, I have outlines for two
potential sequels.
I would love the chance to send you a few chapters, or the
entire manuscript, and synopsis of DEARLY DEPARTED at your
request. Please feel free to contact me using the enclosed
SASE or via email. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Michelle Rowen
This query landed Michelle Rowen both the agent and a
contract with Warner Books. The title of the book was changed
to Bitten & Smitten. Buy the Book.
All writing on this page copyrighted by its authors.
Date
Agent’s name
Contact information
Dear Ms. Agent,
Hello. My name is Jennifer Estep. I’m looking for an agent to
represent my book, Karma Girl. It is a 94,000-word campy,
paranormal chick-lit that would be the first in a series of
books.
Karma Girl tells the story of Carmen Cole, an investigative
reporter who catches her fiancé and best friend cheating on
her on her wedding day. Even worse, she discovers that they
moonlight as her town’s resident, comic-book-type superhero
and ubervillain. Angry and hurt, Carmen exposes the pair’s
secret identities to the whole town and discovers that she
has a knack for unmasking heroes and villains. Carmen travels
from town to town, newspaper to newspaper doing just that
until one of the heroes she exposes commits suicide. Carmen
quits her exposing ways, but she’s forced back into the game
by the Terrible Triad, a group of ubervillains who want her
to expose the real identities of their archenemies, the
Fearless Five. Epic battles, daring escapes, and elaborate
schemes ensue, along with some romance with a sexy superhero
named Striker.
I am an award-winning features writer and page designer for a
daily newspaper. I have a bachelor’s degree in English and
journalism, and a master’s degree in professional
communications. I won third place in the Harlequin Flipside
“Write Your Heart Out” contest in 2004, and I am a member of
Romance Writers of America.
I’ve enclosed a brief synopsis and the first three chapters
of Karma Girl. I would be happy to send you the full
manuscript if and when appropriate. Please contact me if you
need more information. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Estep
Jennifer Estep got the agent, and soon had a publishing
contract with Berkley Books for Karma Girl, her debut novel.
Buy the Book
Agent’s name
Contact information
Dear Ms. Agent,
Hello. My name is Jennifer Estep. I’m looking for an agent to
represent my book, Karma Girl. It is a 94,000-word campy,
paranormal chick-lit that would be the first in a series of
books.
Karma Girl tells the story of Carmen Cole, an investigative
reporter who catches her fiancé and best friend cheating on
her on her wedding day. Even worse, she discovers that they
moonlight as her town’s resident, comic-book-type superhero
and ubervillain. Angry and hurt, Carmen exposes the pair’s
secret identities to the whole town and discovers that she
has a knack for unmasking heroes and villains. Carmen travels
from town to town, newspaper to newspaper doing just that
until one of the heroes she exposes commits suicide. Carmen
quits her exposing ways, but she’s forced back into the game
by the Terrible Triad, a group of ubervillains who want her
to expose the real identities of their archenemies, the
Fearless Five. Epic battles, daring escapes, and elaborate
schemes ensue, along with some romance with a sexy superhero
named Striker.
I am an award-winning features writer and page designer for a
daily newspaper. I have a bachelor’s degree in English and
journalism, and a master’s degree in professional
communications. I won third place in the Harlequin Flipside
“Write Your Heart Out” contest in 2004, and I am a member of
Romance Writers of America.
I’ve enclosed a brief synopsis and the first three chapters
of Karma Girl. I would be happy to send you the full
manuscript if and when appropriate. Please contact me if you
need more information. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Jennifer Estep
Jennifer Estep got the agent, and soon had a publishing
contract with Berkley Books for Karma Girl, her debut novel.
Buy the Book
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