| The Rants, Cheers, Fears and Sometimes Tears of Author Charlotte Dillon |
8 - 24 - 08 I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to do things on my own again. Take care of
my family, my pets, my writing groups, even my website. My writing has been harder to take
care of, but I haven't given up yet.
5 - 03 - 08 I spent the last long months mostly in the bed, too sick and often in too much pain
and on too many meds to do anything. I handed my writing groups over to others to run, I of
course couldn't write at all, my husband and kids took over the house and pets, and everything
else, and I just got through one day at a time.
5 - 19 - 07 I talked to my agent on the phone and she's in New York again. This time she
pitched the non-fiction book of writing starters to an editor with St. Martin's Press. The editor
must have been interested because she has asked to see the complete. I figure I have a few
months' worth of waiting ahead of me again. Ever noticed in writing it's always hurry up and
wait? (Smile)
3 - 18 - 07 So, my agent says that Random House didn't buy my non-fiction book. It's already
off to the next publisher, so the waiting can start all over again. I think I'm lucky I've spent so
many years writing and dealing with rejections. Those first few were painful. More than you
could guess. But over time, I guess it's just like anything else. You get used to it, learn to deal,
and sooner or later get to a point where you simply shrug and move on. In other words, if you
are facing the sting of that first rejection, or even the first few, don't worry, it does get better.
It doesn't ever feel good, but it just becomes another bump in the word.
10 - 26 - 06 I heard from Elizabeth today. I guess the pitch worked. My non-fiction book for
romance writers is with an editor at Random House Reference! Wish me tons of luck. I've been
around long enough in this business to know that just because a proposal earns an editor's
interest, that doesn't mean she will end up buying that book. I also know that I probably have at
least a couple of months or more of waiting before I hear anything for sure one way or the
other. With all the holidays just around the corner, I might have even longer to wait.
10 - 18 - 06 Elizabeth carried my book proposal to New York with her and she will be pitching
it to some editors. Writing a proposal for a non-fiction book was totally different than the
fiction ones I've written before. I hope I did a good enough job.
6 - 28 - 06 I signed with agent Elizabeth Pomada! She really liked my non-fiction book for
writers.
6 - 13 - 06 After completing a book to help romance writers write, I've decided to query agent
Elizabeth Pomada of the Larsen-Pomada Literary Agency. I've heard really good things about
the agency and her. She's handled non-fiction on writing before and sold to good publishers.
There's a double positive here. She also handles romance and has a good record there too, so if I
get ready to submit the romance novel I'm working on right now, I could send it to her. It would
be a win/win if she offers me a contract.
July 2006
I read my last entry in this journal before I began this one. I can’t believe it’s been a whole year
since I last added anything here. Looking over my complaints in that July 2005 post, I felt like
going back in time and warning myself to brace up because much worse was on the way. A lot of
it brought on by a hurricane called Katrina that hit the last day of the very next month.
It took me weeks afterwards to begin to function on anything other than autopilot. Months more
to get my life back to something near normal. Writing was the last thing on my mind for most of
those months. In the last few though, I have managed to move forward. I’ve done some more
work on Read My Mind, contacted that agent and told her I was backing out and not sending the
rest because of the amount of time that had gone by without me being able to pick up and go
with the story like I should have, almost completed a total rewrite on another story that is
making it so much stronger, did write and complete a non-fiction novel aimed at helping other
romance writers, found an agent interested in it, and have that polished puppy in her hands as I
write this.
Not bad for a few months. (Smile) After I finish the rewrite I’m doing on Mister Magic, I am
going back to Read My Mind. It has been one tough book to write, not just because of the things
that have happened since I started it, but because it was something new for me, something
different. It’s the first real suspense I’ve written, and it deals with a serial killer. I found myself
having to dig deep into tons of research to do the story justice. It’s still a romance, but it’s a
mystery too, and that calls for a different touch to the writing. Sometimes it’s just felt so
overwhelming that I wanted to toss it and never pick it back up, but the characters are so
strong, so real in my mind, that I just can’t not write it. Another hundred pages and it’ll be done.
I know once it is done, it’ll be worth all the sweat and worry.
There were some good things that happened in the last couple of months that had nothing to do
with writing. Two big things in one month. Both of my children graduated in May. One from
high school near the top of her class and one with a BA in Biology Science from college. Life
does go on, doesn’t it? The good, the bad, and the everyday. How wonderful it is to be here for
the good days and the everyday days, and how blessed we are to have family and friends to help
us with all the other days.
July 2005
Talk about slow going. It seems anything that could strike to slow me down or stop me from
writing, has. But what’s new about that in my life. (Smile) Since I started back on Read My
Mind, I’ve planned and carried off a wedding for my son, I’ve dealt with family sickness, my
sickness and a back injury, home remodeling, a tropical storm and a hurricane, and a family
vacation. And those are just the biggies.
But…I did get a new opening to chapter one done, and even added a very short prologue a little
later. I’ve done a detailed rewrite of each chapter I had completed, spent some time building
some new characters and doing some re-plotting and I’ve added around fifty new pages too.
I even entered the first chapter in a couple of contests to get a feel of just how the new work
held up to the opinions of others, especially people who didn’t even know who I was since we all
know how kind friends and family can be. I haven’t gotten any results from one contest yet, but
the other was an on line contest where readers were allowed to send the author comments if
they wished. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but one thing I didn’t expect was such a large number
of replies, and every single one of them positive. Not one person who wrote had anything bad to
say about the story. Most of the messages were so favorable that my head should be swollen to
three times its normal size. (Smile) I’m hoping all of those great comments mean that I’m really
on the right track with the story.
Now that school will be starting back soon, and life seems to be settling down – knock on wood
– and I think I finally have a good handle on each of my characters and where and how the story
should go, I’m hoping to be able to complete it soon, get it off to that agent if she hasn’t already
given up on me, and then move on to the next story.
April 2005
I actually queried an agent, and not just any agent, but a biggy. I often tell new writers not to
send off work when the manuscript isn't complete, since so many writers start manuscripts that
they never finish. (And that's a really good rule.) But I knew I needed a push, so I didn't take
my own advice. I knew I had completed other manuscripts so I could do it again. I also explained
to the agent in the query that this story was only half done, but that I had completed those
others.
She liked the query and asked to see the first three chapters of Read My Mind. I sent them and
heard back from her pretty quickly. To quote her, "Your opening chapters are very compelling,
and the writing is clean and strong." There was other good stuff too. (Smile) She asked for the
complete. She did want another opening with a different character. That I can do, and have
done. I told her I'd have the polished complete to her in a couple of months. That's a lot of
writing to do, since it's only half way done. More than 200 pages to go. But it's do or die time.
I know even then I could just end up with another rejection for my folder, but that's the writing
game. I've already accepted the fact and dealt with it. If I get a rejection I'm going to send out
another query. I really like Read My Mind and I have some other ideas for novels that have come
from the interesting characters in it. I can't wait to get started on book two. Guess I gotta finish
book one first though.
Spring 2005
Fall and winter went by without me writing as much as I wish I had. My contest scores came
back. I didn't final, but two out of three judges loved my story and my writing and gave me high
scores. Not too bad. (Smile) I spent some time scanning older manuscripts into my computer,
and then doing a lot of rewriting before I decided they might be hopeless. I haven't given up on
them completely, and might give them another try later down the road.
I needed to work on something newer, or maybe even new. After some testing, I settled in to
work on a manuscript titled Read My Mind. This is my first paranormal romantic suspense. I
love the story and love the characters--and paranormal comes as natural to me as cooking those
big southern meals my family loves. So many people insisted paranormal was too hard to find a
home for, so I tried to keep it down, but it usually popped up in any fiction I wrote. So I figured,
why fight it. I might as well write what I like to write.
Summer 2004
Things haven't gone as well as I had hoped. They were going so great at first -- and then my
father began to do worse. Once again writing became last on my list of what needed doing. By
the end of May I was spending hours a day with Daddy. By the time he was put in the hospital, I
often spent whole days there. I was there with him on the morning of June the second when he
took his last breath and finally left all of his suffering behind. I had never dreamed that while I
was still in my thirties, I would have to say a final goodbye to both of my parents.
It's been a little while, and it seems like I can breath through the pain at last. I'm still feeling a
little lost, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm testing the waters again. Not
pushing myself, but writing a little here and a little there, taking time to plot out chapters, get to
know my characters, and time to slink away and lick my wounds on the days that I feel the need.
I know writing and sending out work is the only way to move forward, so that's my goal. I even
sent off a chapter to an RWA contest last week. One small step....only a thousand left to go.
(Smile)
Spring 2004
I had a long talk with myself. Either I want to be a romance writer or I don't. I was tired of
playing around. I said, okay, I don't want to be a romance writer but I would be happy to
continue to help others reach for that dream. That would be enough. I even opened up the folder
on the computer where I keep my writing files, and had my finger above that delete key. I
figured the best thing to do was to make a clean break. Just delete those few finished
manuscripts I had and move on. Even the ones that weren't finished. There would be no second
guesses, no going back. It just would be over and done with.
I began to hit the delete key again and again, and watched each file disappear. I didn't even
notice at first, but there were tears running down my face. This wasn't what I wanted. I had
always wanted to be a writer, and for the longest part of that time, a romance writer. It was my
favorite genre. It was the only kind of writing I loved. By the time I had deleted that last file, I
was sobbing. This was wrong. I didn't want to give this up. I just wanted the fire back that I'd
lost after those first years.
I opened up the recycle bin and restored every file, my hands shaking as I did. I had forced
myself into a corner. Like my mom had always said, it was time to either put up or shut up.
What she really said was to either pee or get off the pot!
So here it is, 2004, and I'm trying my best. It has been a smooth start, I'm working on the
rewrite for one story, and actually writing a new story. I think before the year is over I might
find that fire again and maybe be back to sending work out. If not, I'll just keep trying until I do
find it. I've even made a new side to my website, just for me as an author. Something I've never
bothered with before. Yes, I'm going to keep the other side of my site up, and up dated, and
keep my e-mail lists going, all to help other writers as much as I can, but I'm going to pour some
of those hours into my own writing again, at least for the next couple of years or so, and see
what I can do.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
2003
I went through starts and stops. I even sent out some stuff now and then, but the writing was
hard. I knew I was a better writer than I had been way back when. My query letters earned me
requests for completes, and then when rejection letters came they were detailed and often asked
to see more work. But I wasn't sending out much. And I wasn't writing much. I seemed content
doing e-mail or working on my website, helping others, while doing nothing for my own writing.
And, just maybe that's how I want to keep it.
1998 - 2002
My freelance writing took the form of cards and little odds and ends, but my full-time jobs were
writing short biographies of famous singers and musicians. Later, even musical reviews of their
works. It was interesting the first few years, but having to write one bio after another, having
those tight weekly deadlines, all of it non-fiction when my first love was not only fiction, but
romantic fiction, it just begin to numb me. I was almost relieved when the freelance work ran
out after five long years.
Yes, it was scary giving up those weekly checks, but I would finally be able to return to my
romance writing! I was thrilled. Then the time came. I opened the file of the last manuscript I
had worked on so long ago, and went blank. I didn't seem to remember how or where to begin.
I had kept in touch with romance writing by running and taking part in e-mail lists for romance
writers, and by keeping my website for romance writers up to date and making it the best I
could. But somehow I had still lost that part of me.
I was scared I'd never find her again.
1997
This was the year I meant to make it. I did more rewrites--yes, I was still learning. I guess I
always will be. At least I hope my writing keeps getting better and better, my voice stronger,
my characters more believable, and all of that other good stuff. To prove my intentions, I got
rejections by the scores this year. They came from Dell, Harper, Avon, Bantam, Harlequin,
Warner, Signet, St. Martin's Press, and even a few more agents.
By the end of this year though, my romance writing would take a back seat--once again. I never
did find a job that I could work around my kids, but as a one-income family, we just weren't
making it. I had hoped against hope that my romance writing would take care of that. Even
explained to my husband that these first years of earning nothing were really my college years,
the time I needed to learn and grow so I would be a good enough writer to make that first sale.
But time was up. So I began full-time freelance writing and did make it there.
1996
I made a huge step. I got a computer. And then the Internet. I was able to go on line and join e-
mail groups where the members were all romance writers. I slowly felt pulled back to my
writing. I thought I would play around with the stories I had finished. So I took one of the
floppy disk from my old Brother WP and popped it into my computer.
And the computer couldn't read the disk!
In fact, no computer, not even another WP, could read it. The only thing that could was my old
Brother WP. We bought a scanner and I managed to scan one manuscript in, but what a huge
nightmare to do, and that's not even counting the mess it made of the formatting and even the
words. It looks like my other manuscripts might be forever lost, or lost until they come up with
a better scanner that is still cheap. I did find a company that could convert those disks so they
would be readable, but they wanted a couple of thousand to do so. Not doable.
1995
This was the year that almost broke me. I started out great. Finished school, scored high on my
test, even math, and got that hard-earned GED. Even got to wear the cap and gown. My
husband did the whole back-to-school thing with me. We wanted our children to see that we
thought an education was important.
This was also the year we paid our little house off, and things finally started to look up for us
financially. By that I mean we could afford something other than chicken leg quarters and red
beans. Things were tight, but improving. My husband had a better job, my son and daughter
were doing well in school, and I had started looking around for a part time job that I could fit in
around the their school hours.
I was even writing when I could, and sent off a couple of things early that year, one to Avon and
the other to an agent. I was still mostly finishing up rewrites, but I knew that what I was
turning out was so much better. I finally could write what I felt was publishable work. I thought
it was only a matter of time until I made that first sale.
And then the world turned upside down. My mom got sick, and then sicker, and soon we were
told she had cancer. Lung cancer. (She had started smoking in her teens.) Writing didn't seem
very important any more. As spring faded into summer, I moved my family into my mom's home
so I could care for her around the clock. My father wasn't well either, and so he stepped aside
and left it all up to me. I had to make decisions I never wanted to even think about. And before
fall was over, my mother was gone forever. I didn't care if I ever wrote another word.
I didn't think I would.
1994
Things began to fall into place this year for my writing--at least with me finally knowing what I
should know. I was working on a new story, another historical. Mostly I was rewriting. Fixing
all that was wrong with those first stories. I had learned so much over the last couple of years
about pace, plotting, characters, and more. But this was also the year I went back to school.
Even on the first test they gave me at night school, I scored college level in English, so all of the
hard work was paying off. Spelling, well, that was still weak. Thank goodness for spell check.
(Smile)
This year I earned rejections from Silhouette, Dorchester, and two agents, but I was beginning
to get personal rejection letters with comments. (I say earned because you do have to work to
get a rejection. I had to complete a novel, learn to format, polish it, and even do market research
to be able to send it to the right publishers--and then I had to have the nerve to mail it. That's
not a give away, that's work, so those rejections, though still rejections, were hard earned.)
I didn't spend as much time writing and submitting this year, since I was spending most of my
not-mommy and not-wife time working on school. But that was okay too.
I found out I still hated math!
1993
This is the year I began to really get the hang of things. I had written a couple of letters to some
published authors, who kindly shared info with me. One lived in New Orleans, a couple of hours
from my little town, and she invited me to attend an RWA meeting there. Oh, it was like magic,
being in a room with other writers, having so much info being offered. I joined RWA and soon
had answers to questions I didn't even know I had. I also sent work off to an agent, and in
March got my first agent rejection. At least it wasn't a form letter this time. I was learning and
becoming a better writer.
A few days letter I got another form rejection letter, this one from The Editors at Dell. By then
I had finished Indian Beads & Silver Spurs, and had sent it off to Avon Books. I also tried
another agent
With RWA I joined my first critique group, where my work was torn to pieces. I left that
meeting with blood on my pages. Not really, but it felt like that. I found out I still knew nothing.
I didn't understand point of view, I didn't know what a strong conflict was, anything about pace,
and my grammar and spelling were still not perfect. I cried half way home, and that was a long
two-hour ride. In the end though, I just became more determined to learn. I was a stay-at-home
mom, I was poor, I hadn't even graduated from high school because I was getting married when
my friends were starting their senior year, but I wasn't stupid and I came from darn strong
stock. If I put my mind to something, I could do it, and no one was going to tell my I couldn't.
In September I got rejections from Avon Books and the agent. I sent a query and the first three
chapters of Indian Beads & Silver Spurs to Leisure. In December I got a request for the complete
manuscript. I was thrilled. I just knew this was going to be it. I also finished my third novel,
Mister Magic.
1992
I learned a lot this year! I got to pass the manual typewriter off to a nephew when my husband
used the money we got back from our income taxes to buy a Brother Word Possessor from Wal-
Marts. I didn't know much about that WP, but sat down and began copying my story in. I didn't
figure it matter that I didn't know how to save it to disk, since I would only need to print it out
once. Then it would be my first sale and the editors would take care of the rest. (If you are a
writer who has been at writing a while, and you're reading this, please stop laughing now, or at
least put the soda down before you destroy your computer.)
You guessed it, I learned to save, and had to type that whole manuscript in again. Groan! That
story became Dakota Magic; my first completed manuscript, and was a huge five hundred pages
long. I didn't know anything about point of view, so head hopping was the rule.
By the last part of the year I was ready to submit work. Didn't know much about that either,
and I didn't have the Internet, but I did have a library. They had one book there on becoming a
romance writer. I followed all of the info listed in that book, at least as best I could. Dakota
Magic was mailed off to Avon Books on September 14th and earned me my very first rejection.
It was a form letter sent by editor Alice Webster, and arrived on September 25th. (Now I know
that just the speed of that rejection should have told me something about how awful my writing
was.) I cried for hours, even not knowing that. I was crushed, my world was over, I was
nothing. (At least that was how it felt at the time.) (Smile)
Not one to give up, two days later I mailed that complete manuscript right back out, this time to
Leisure Books. Assistant Editor Edith D. Wilson sent me a form rejection four weeks later. I
cried again, then put that baby right back in the mail, this time to Zebra Books. It took them less
than four weeks to send me my next rejection. This one was simply signed The Editors. By then,
thankfully, I was hard at work on a second story, Indian Beads & Silver Spurs, or I might have
tossed in the towel.
The End of 1991
I was caught up in the middle of a romance novel, like always, this one set in the Old West. It
was a great read, but some things just weren't turning out the way I thought they should. I was
complaining to my husband about something the heroine had done that I didn't think she really
would have. (When I read a book the characters are real people to me.) He had just gotten home
from a long shift at work, and was about to get a bath. He made the mistake of saying those
infamous words, "If you think you can do better, then why don't you write one."
(I wonder how many writers have started their careers because of those words?)
I thought, okay, I'll show him. So the next day while he was at work, my son at school, and my
daughter coloring, I sat down with pen and paper and started to write--as a joke really. I
intended to write two or three pages, enough to give my hubby a shock. Since I was sure he
never thought I would do what he said. I mean, how often do we really listen to our husbands?
By the time I had to leave to pick up my son from school that evening, I had twelve pages
written, and the whole plot for a story in mind. Guess the joke was on me.
A few weeks later, when the rest of my family found out what I was doing, and that I intended
to keep doing it, my mom and sister found a big old manual typewriter at the Good Will store,
and brought it home to me as a surprise. I was thrilled! After all, I loved watching reruns of the
Waltons and knew from the trouble John Boy had that even back then editors wanted typed
manuscripts, not hand written ones. (Wish that show had taught me a few more things, like
proper page formatting.) I typed that first MS single spaced, and didn't worry too much over a
few grammar mistakes or words spelled wrong. After all, that's what editors were for, right?
A Starting Point
I've been a book lover since they taught me to read those first words. While other kids played
outside, I sat propped up in bed or on the couch, even on the floor, lost in the world of fairy
tales. Animal books came next, everything from the Black Stallion to My Sister the Horse. I
branched out from there. My mother was proud of my reading appetite, and fed it well. I never
lacked for a new book, even if they were borrowed from a friend or came from the library.
In high school my reading took a sharp turn when a friend let me borrow one of her books. It
was a romance novel, a big historical one with a pirate on the cover. (Oh, how I wish I could
remember the title of that book or the name of the author.)
Reading that one book hooked me on a genre like nothing else had ever done. I read one
romance novel after another. At first they were all historicals. I went happily from pirates, to
cowboys, to knights. It actually took me a couple of years to move to contemporaries. In fact, I
read only contemporaries for a long time after I found them, and then found a comfortable
combination. There wasn't one kind of romance novel I didn't like. I even tried my hand at
writing, though never got very far. And oddly enough, never tried to write a romance.
Maybe all of those happy endings had something to do with my early marriage. I said I do at the
ripe old age of seventeen--my groom was the same age, in fact, he was four months younger
than I. A little over a year later I became the proud mother of a bouncing baby boy. A beautiful
baby girl followed four years after. I guess we were really lucky. Really poor too, but happy
more often than not.
Before we had our first child we talked and agreed that I would be a stay-at-home mom until the
youngest child we had was at least ten. After a few years though I found myself a stay-at-home
mom who actually found herself with free time on her hands. My son was in school all day; my
little girl was three-years-old and learning to entertain herself.
That point is where the romance writing began...
my family, my pets, my writing groups, even my website. My writing has been harder to take
care of, but I haven't given up yet.
5 - 03 - 08 I spent the last long months mostly in the bed, too sick and often in too much pain
and on too many meds to do anything. I handed my writing groups over to others to run, I of
course couldn't write at all, my husband and kids took over the house and pets, and everything
else, and I just got through one day at a time.
5 - 19 - 07 I talked to my agent on the phone and she's in New York again. This time she
pitched the non-fiction book of writing starters to an editor with St. Martin's Press. The editor
must have been interested because she has asked to see the complete. I figure I have a few
months' worth of waiting ahead of me again. Ever noticed in writing it's always hurry up and
wait? (Smile)
3 - 18 - 07 So, my agent says that Random House didn't buy my non-fiction book. It's already
off to the next publisher, so the waiting can start all over again. I think I'm lucky I've spent so
many years writing and dealing with rejections. Those first few were painful. More than you
could guess. But over time, I guess it's just like anything else. You get used to it, learn to deal,
and sooner or later get to a point where you simply shrug and move on. In other words, if you
are facing the sting of that first rejection, or even the first few, don't worry, it does get better.
It doesn't ever feel good, but it just becomes another bump in the word.
10 - 26 - 06 I heard from Elizabeth today. I guess the pitch worked. My non-fiction book for
romance writers is with an editor at Random House Reference! Wish me tons of luck. I've been
around long enough in this business to know that just because a proposal earns an editor's
interest, that doesn't mean she will end up buying that book. I also know that I probably have at
least a couple of months or more of waiting before I hear anything for sure one way or the
other. With all the holidays just around the corner, I might have even longer to wait.
10 - 18 - 06 Elizabeth carried my book proposal to New York with her and she will be pitching
it to some editors. Writing a proposal for a non-fiction book was totally different than the
fiction ones I've written before. I hope I did a good enough job.
6 - 28 - 06 I signed with agent Elizabeth Pomada! She really liked my non-fiction book for
writers.
6 - 13 - 06 After completing a book to help romance writers write, I've decided to query agent
Elizabeth Pomada of the Larsen-Pomada Literary Agency. I've heard really good things about
the agency and her. She's handled non-fiction on writing before and sold to good publishers.
There's a double positive here. She also handles romance and has a good record there too, so if I
get ready to submit the romance novel I'm working on right now, I could send it to her. It would
be a win/win if she offers me a contract.
July 2006
I read my last entry in this journal before I began this one. I can’t believe it’s been a whole year
since I last added anything here. Looking over my complaints in that July 2005 post, I felt like
going back in time and warning myself to brace up because much worse was on the way. A lot of
it brought on by a hurricane called Katrina that hit the last day of the very next month.
It took me weeks afterwards to begin to function on anything other than autopilot. Months more
to get my life back to something near normal. Writing was the last thing on my mind for most of
those months. In the last few though, I have managed to move forward. I’ve done some more
work on Read My Mind, contacted that agent and told her I was backing out and not sending the
rest because of the amount of time that had gone by without me being able to pick up and go
with the story like I should have, almost completed a total rewrite on another story that is
making it so much stronger, did write and complete a non-fiction novel aimed at helping other
romance writers, found an agent interested in it, and have that polished puppy in her hands as I
write this.
Not bad for a few months. (Smile) After I finish the rewrite I’m doing on Mister Magic, I am
going back to Read My Mind. It has been one tough book to write, not just because of the things
that have happened since I started it, but because it was something new for me, something
different. It’s the first real suspense I’ve written, and it deals with a serial killer. I found myself
having to dig deep into tons of research to do the story justice. It’s still a romance, but it’s a
mystery too, and that calls for a different touch to the writing. Sometimes it’s just felt so
overwhelming that I wanted to toss it and never pick it back up, but the characters are so
strong, so real in my mind, that I just can’t not write it. Another hundred pages and it’ll be done.
I know once it is done, it’ll be worth all the sweat and worry.
There were some good things that happened in the last couple of months that had nothing to do
with writing. Two big things in one month. Both of my children graduated in May. One from
high school near the top of her class and one with a BA in Biology Science from college. Life
does go on, doesn’t it? The good, the bad, and the everyday. How wonderful it is to be here for
the good days and the everyday days, and how blessed we are to have family and friends to help
us with all the other days.
July 2005
Talk about slow going. It seems anything that could strike to slow me down or stop me from
writing, has. But what’s new about that in my life. (Smile) Since I started back on Read My
Mind, I’ve planned and carried off a wedding for my son, I’ve dealt with family sickness, my
sickness and a back injury, home remodeling, a tropical storm and a hurricane, and a family
vacation. And those are just the biggies.
But…I did get a new opening to chapter one done, and even added a very short prologue a little
later. I’ve done a detailed rewrite of each chapter I had completed, spent some time building
some new characters and doing some re-plotting and I’ve added around fifty new pages too.
I even entered the first chapter in a couple of contests to get a feel of just how the new work
held up to the opinions of others, especially people who didn’t even know who I was since we all
know how kind friends and family can be. I haven’t gotten any results from one contest yet, but
the other was an on line contest where readers were allowed to send the author comments if
they wished. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but one thing I didn’t expect was such a large number
of replies, and every single one of them positive. Not one person who wrote had anything bad to
say about the story. Most of the messages were so favorable that my head should be swollen to
three times its normal size. (Smile) I’m hoping all of those great comments mean that I’m really
on the right track with the story.
Now that school will be starting back soon, and life seems to be settling down – knock on wood
– and I think I finally have a good handle on each of my characters and where and how the story
should go, I’m hoping to be able to complete it soon, get it off to that agent if she hasn’t already
given up on me, and then move on to the next story.
April 2005
I actually queried an agent, and not just any agent, but a biggy. I often tell new writers not to
send off work when the manuscript isn't complete, since so many writers start manuscripts that
they never finish. (And that's a really good rule.) But I knew I needed a push, so I didn't take
my own advice. I knew I had completed other manuscripts so I could do it again. I also explained
to the agent in the query that this story was only half done, but that I had completed those
others.
She liked the query and asked to see the first three chapters of Read My Mind. I sent them and
heard back from her pretty quickly. To quote her, "Your opening chapters are very compelling,
and the writing is clean and strong." There was other good stuff too. (Smile) She asked for the
complete. She did want another opening with a different character. That I can do, and have
done. I told her I'd have the polished complete to her in a couple of months. That's a lot of
writing to do, since it's only half way done. More than 200 pages to go. But it's do or die time.
I know even then I could just end up with another rejection for my folder, but that's the writing
game. I've already accepted the fact and dealt with it. If I get a rejection I'm going to send out
another query. I really like Read My Mind and I have some other ideas for novels that have come
from the interesting characters in it. I can't wait to get started on book two. Guess I gotta finish
book one first though.
Spring 2005
Fall and winter went by without me writing as much as I wish I had. My contest scores came
back. I didn't final, but two out of three judges loved my story and my writing and gave me high
scores. Not too bad. (Smile) I spent some time scanning older manuscripts into my computer,
and then doing a lot of rewriting before I decided they might be hopeless. I haven't given up on
them completely, and might give them another try later down the road.
I needed to work on something newer, or maybe even new. After some testing, I settled in to
work on a manuscript titled Read My Mind. This is my first paranormal romantic suspense. I
love the story and love the characters--and paranormal comes as natural to me as cooking those
big southern meals my family loves. So many people insisted paranormal was too hard to find a
home for, so I tried to keep it down, but it usually popped up in any fiction I wrote. So I figured,
why fight it. I might as well write what I like to write.
Summer 2004
Things haven't gone as well as I had hoped. They were going so great at first -- and then my
father began to do worse. Once again writing became last on my list of what needed doing. By
the end of May I was spending hours a day with Daddy. By the time he was put in the hospital, I
often spent whole days there. I was there with him on the morning of June the second when he
took his last breath and finally left all of his suffering behind. I had never dreamed that while I
was still in my thirties, I would have to say a final goodbye to both of my parents.
It's been a little while, and it seems like I can breath through the pain at last. I'm still feeling a
little lost, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm testing the waters again. Not
pushing myself, but writing a little here and a little there, taking time to plot out chapters, get to
know my characters, and time to slink away and lick my wounds on the days that I feel the need.
I know writing and sending out work is the only way to move forward, so that's my goal. I even
sent off a chapter to an RWA contest last week. One small step....only a thousand left to go.
(Smile)
Spring 2004
I had a long talk with myself. Either I want to be a romance writer or I don't. I was tired of
playing around. I said, okay, I don't want to be a romance writer but I would be happy to
continue to help others reach for that dream. That would be enough. I even opened up the folder
on the computer where I keep my writing files, and had my finger above that delete key. I
figured the best thing to do was to make a clean break. Just delete those few finished
manuscripts I had and move on. Even the ones that weren't finished. There would be no second
guesses, no going back. It just would be over and done with.
I began to hit the delete key again and again, and watched each file disappear. I didn't even
notice at first, but there were tears running down my face. This wasn't what I wanted. I had
always wanted to be a writer, and for the longest part of that time, a romance writer. It was my
favorite genre. It was the only kind of writing I loved. By the time I had deleted that last file, I
was sobbing. This was wrong. I didn't want to give this up. I just wanted the fire back that I'd
lost after those first years.
I opened up the recycle bin and restored every file, my hands shaking as I did. I had forced
myself into a corner. Like my mom had always said, it was time to either put up or shut up.
What she really said was to either pee or get off the pot!
So here it is, 2004, and I'm trying my best. It has been a smooth start, I'm working on the
rewrite for one story, and actually writing a new story. I think before the year is over I might
find that fire again and maybe be back to sending work out. If not, I'll just keep trying until I do
find it. I've even made a new side to my website, just for me as an author. Something I've never
bothered with before. Yes, I'm going to keep the other side of my site up, and up dated, and
keep my e-mail lists going, all to help other writers as much as I can, but I'm going to pour some
of those hours into my own writing again, at least for the next couple of years or so, and see
what I can do.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
2003
I went through starts and stops. I even sent out some stuff now and then, but the writing was
hard. I knew I was a better writer than I had been way back when. My query letters earned me
requests for completes, and then when rejection letters came they were detailed and often asked
to see more work. But I wasn't sending out much. And I wasn't writing much. I seemed content
doing e-mail or working on my website, helping others, while doing nothing for my own writing.
And, just maybe that's how I want to keep it.
1998 - 2002
My freelance writing took the form of cards and little odds and ends, but my full-time jobs were
writing short biographies of famous singers and musicians. Later, even musical reviews of their
works. It was interesting the first few years, but having to write one bio after another, having
those tight weekly deadlines, all of it non-fiction when my first love was not only fiction, but
romantic fiction, it just begin to numb me. I was almost relieved when the freelance work ran
out after five long years.
Yes, it was scary giving up those weekly checks, but I would finally be able to return to my
romance writing! I was thrilled. Then the time came. I opened the file of the last manuscript I
had worked on so long ago, and went blank. I didn't seem to remember how or where to begin.
I had kept in touch with romance writing by running and taking part in e-mail lists for romance
writers, and by keeping my website for romance writers up to date and making it the best I
could. But somehow I had still lost that part of me.
I was scared I'd never find her again.
1997
This was the year I meant to make it. I did more rewrites--yes, I was still learning. I guess I
always will be. At least I hope my writing keeps getting better and better, my voice stronger,
my characters more believable, and all of that other good stuff. To prove my intentions, I got
rejections by the scores this year. They came from Dell, Harper, Avon, Bantam, Harlequin,
Warner, Signet, St. Martin's Press, and even a few more agents.
By the end of this year though, my romance writing would take a back seat--once again. I never
did find a job that I could work around my kids, but as a one-income family, we just weren't
making it. I had hoped against hope that my romance writing would take care of that. Even
explained to my husband that these first years of earning nothing were really my college years,
the time I needed to learn and grow so I would be a good enough writer to make that first sale.
But time was up. So I began full-time freelance writing and did make it there.
1996
I made a huge step. I got a computer. And then the Internet. I was able to go on line and join e-
mail groups where the members were all romance writers. I slowly felt pulled back to my
writing. I thought I would play around with the stories I had finished. So I took one of the
floppy disk from my old Brother WP and popped it into my computer.
And the computer couldn't read the disk!
In fact, no computer, not even another WP, could read it. The only thing that could was my old
Brother WP. We bought a scanner and I managed to scan one manuscript in, but what a huge
nightmare to do, and that's not even counting the mess it made of the formatting and even the
words. It looks like my other manuscripts might be forever lost, or lost until they come up with
a better scanner that is still cheap. I did find a company that could convert those disks so they
would be readable, but they wanted a couple of thousand to do so. Not doable.
1995
This was the year that almost broke me. I started out great. Finished school, scored high on my
test, even math, and got that hard-earned GED. Even got to wear the cap and gown. My
husband did the whole back-to-school thing with me. We wanted our children to see that we
thought an education was important.
This was also the year we paid our little house off, and things finally started to look up for us
financially. By that I mean we could afford something other than chicken leg quarters and red
beans. Things were tight, but improving. My husband had a better job, my son and daughter
were doing well in school, and I had started looking around for a part time job that I could fit in
around the their school hours.
I was even writing when I could, and sent off a couple of things early that year, one to Avon and
the other to an agent. I was still mostly finishing up rewrites, but I knew that what I was
turning out was so much better. I finally could write what I felt was publishable work. I thought
it was only a matter of time until I made that first sale.
And then the world turned upside down. My mom got sick, and then sicker, and soon we were
told she had cancer. Lung cancer. (She had started smoking in her teens.) Writing didn't seem
very important any more. As spring faded into summer, I moved my family into my mom's home
so I could care for her around the clock. My father wasn't well either, and so he stepped aside
and left it all up to me. I had to make decisions I never wanted to even think about. And before
fall was over, my mother was gone forever. I didn't care if I ever wrote another word.
I didn't think I would.
1994
Things began to fall into place this year for my writing--at least with me finally knowing what I
should know. I was working on a new story, another historical. Mostly I was rewriting. Fixing
all that was wrong with those first stories. I had learned so much over the last couple of years
about pace, plotting, characters, and more. But this was also the year I went back to school.
Even on the first test they gave me at night school, I scored college level in English, so all of the
hard work was paying off. Spelling, well, that was still weak. Thank goodness for spell check.
(Smile)
This year I earned rejections from Silhouette, Dorchester, and two agents, but I was beginning
to get personal rejection letters with comments. (I say earned because you do have to work to
get a rejection. I had to complete a novel, learn to format, polish it, and even do market research
to be able to send it to the right publishers--and then I had to have the nerve to mail it. That's
not a give away, that's work, so those rejections, though still rejections, were hard earned.)
I didn't spend as much time writing and submitting this year, since I was spending most of my
not-mommy and not-wife time working on school. But that was okay too.
I found out I still hated math!
1993
This is the year I began to really get the hang of things. I had written a couple of letters to some
published authors, who kindly shared info with me. One lived in New Orleans, a couple of hours
from my little town, and she invited me to attend an RWA meeting there. Oh, it was like magic,
being in a room with other writers, having so much info being offered. I joined RWA and soon
had answers to questions I didn't even know I had. I also sent work off to an agent, and in
March got my first agent rejection. At least it wasn't a form letter this time. I was learning and
becoming a better writer.
A few days letter I got another form rejection letter, this one from The Editors at Dell. By then
I had finished Indian Beads & Silver Spurs, and had sent it off to Avon Books. I also tried
another agent
With RWA I joined my first critique group, where my work was torn to pieces. I left that
meeting with blood on my pages. Not really, but it felt like that. I found out I still knew nothing.
I didn't understand point of view, I didn't know what a strong conflict was, anything about pace,
and my grammar and spelling were still not perfect. I cried half way home, and that was a long
two-hour ride. In the end though, I just became more determined to learn. I was a stay-at-home
mom, I was poor, I hadn't even graduated from high school because I was getting married when
my friends were starting their senior year, but I wasn't stupid and I came from darn strong
stock. If I put my mind to something, I could do it, and no one was going to tell my I couldn't.
In September I got rejections from Avon Books and the agent. I sent a query and the first three
chapters of Indian Beads & Silver Spurs to Leisure. In December I got a request for the complete
manuscript. I was thrilled. I just knew this was going to be it. I also finished my third novel,
Mister Magic.
1992
I learned a lot this year! I got to pass the manual typewriter off to a nephew when my husband
used the money we got back from our income taxes to buy a Brother Word Possessor from Wal-
Marts. I didn't know much about that WP, but sat down and began copying my story in. I didn't
figure it matter that I didn't know how to save it to disk, since I would only need to print it out
once. Then it would be my first sale and the editors would take care of the rest. (If you are a
writer who has been at writing a while, and you're reading this, please stop laughing now, or at
least put the soda down before you destroy your computer.)
You guessed it, I learned to save, and had to type that whole manuscript in again. Groan! That
story became Dakota Magic; my first completed manuscript, and was a huge five hundred pages
long. I didn't know anything about point of view, so head hopping was the rule.
By the last part of the year I was ready to submit work. Didn't know much about that either,
and I didn't have the Internet, but I did have a library. They had one book there on becoming a
romance writer. I followed all of the info listed in that book, at least as best I could. Dakota
Magic was mailed off to Avon Books on September 14th and earned me my very first rejection.
It was a form letter sent by editor Alice Webster, and arrived on September 25th. (Now I know
that just the speed of that rejection should have told me something about how awful my writing
was.) I cried for hours, even not knowing that. I was crushed, my world was over, I was
nothing. (At least that was how it felt at the time.) (Smile)
Not one to give up, two days later I mailed that complete manuscript right back out, this time to
Leisure Books. Assistant Editor Edith D. Wilson sent me a form rejection four weeks later. I
cried again, then put that baby right back in the mail, this time to Zebra Books. It took them less
than four weeks to send me my next rejection. This one was simply signed The Editors. By then,
thankfully, I was hard at work on a second story, Indian Beads & Silver Spurs, or I might have
tossed in the towel.
The End of 1991
I was caught up in the middle of a romance novel, like always, this one set in the Old West. It
was a great read, but some things just weren't turning out the way I thought they should. I was
complaining to my husband about something the heroine had done that I didn't think she really
would have. (When I read a book the characters are real people to me.) He had just gotten home
from a long shift at work, and was about to get a bath. He made the mistake of saying those
infamous words, "If you think you can do better, then why don't you write one."
(I wonder how many writers have started their careers because of those words?)
I thought, okay, I'll show him. So the next day while he was at work, my son at school, and my
daughter coloring, I sat down with pen and paper and started to write--as a joke really. I
intended to write two or three pages, enough to give my hubby a shock. Since I was sure he
never thought I would do what he said. I mean, how often do we really listen to our husbands?
By the time I had to leave to pick up my son from school that evening, I had twelve pages
written, and the whole plot for a story in mind. Guess the joke was on me.
A few weeks later, when the rest of my family found out what I was doing, and that I intended
to keep doing it, my mom and sister found a big old manual typewriter at the Good Will store,
and brought it home to me as a surprise. I was thrilled! After all, I loved watching reruns of the
Waltons and knew from the trouble John Boy had that even back then editors wanted typed
manuscripts, not hand written ones. (Wish that show had taught me a few more things, like
proper page formatting.) I typed that first MS single spaced, and didn't worry too much over a
few grammar mistakes or words spelled wrong. After all, that's what editors were for, right?
A Starting Point
I've been a book lover since they taught me to read those first words. While other kids played
outside, I sat propped up in bed or on the couch, even on the floor, lost in the world of fairy
tales. Animal books came next, everything from the Black Stallion to My Sister the Horse. I
branched out from there. My mother was proud of my reading appetite, and fed it well. I never
lacked for a new book, even if they were borrowed from a friend or came from the library.
In high school my reading took a sharp turn when a friend let me borrow one of her books. It
was a romance novel, a big historical one with a pirate on the cover. (Oh, how I wish I could
remember the title of that book or the name of the author.)
Reading that one book hooked me on a genre like nothing else had ever done. I read one
romance novel after another. At first they were all historicals. I went happily from pirates, to
cowboys, to knights. It actually took me a couple of years to move to contemporaries. In fact, I
read only contemporaries for a long time after I found them, and then found a comfortable
combination. There wasn't one kind of romance novel I didn't like. I even tried my hand at
writing, though never got very far. And oddly enough, never tried to write a romance.
Maybe all of those happy endings had something to do with my early marriage. I said I do at the
ripe old age of seventeen--my groom was the same age, in fact, he was four months younger
than I. A little over a year later I became the proud mother of a bouncing baby boy. A beautiful
baby girl followed four years after. I guess we were really lucky. Really poor too, but happy
more often than not.
Before we had our first child we talked and agreed that I would be a stay-at-home mom until the
youngest child we had was at least ten. After a few years though I found myself a stay-at-home
mom who actually found herself with free time on her hands. My son was in school all day; my
little girl was three-years-old and learning to entertain herself.
That point is where the romance writing began...
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Journal of Romance Author Charlotte Dillon.
This journal isn't the kind where I write down my daily
thoughts and happenings. It's kind of a review of seasons,
months, sometimes a whole year or even a few years.
Looking back over it reminds me of how very quickly time
can slip by.
For more often thoughts I have a blog that I use. You can
find a link to it on the side of this page.
thoughts and happenings. It's kind of a review of seasons,
months, sometimes a whole year or even a few years.
Looking back over it reminds me of how very quickly time
can slip by.
For more often thoughts I have a blog that I use. You can
find a link to it on the side of this page.